Nuffnang

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

12 tahun itu tidak cukup sebenarnya

12 tahun sebenarnya bukan lama. tidak lama untuk mengubah siapa dan apa dia sepanjang 12 tahun ini.

dunia aku beza. dunia dia juga beza. aku tidak sedar rupanya dunia kami merupakan 2 dunia yg asing pada mata dan minda masing masing..

dia tidak tahu aku menunggu lama dia selama ini.
tidak tahu ada hati yang sedang dikunci untuknya.
tidak maklum aku simpan harapan padanya.

hmm.. jauh lagi perjalanan kami. kalau ada jodoh, adalah. jika tidak, kami hanya kawan. dia meminta masa. "awak, saya harap masa yang saya minta tidak terlalu lama.." katanya.

aku angguk. sama pendapat dengannya. puncanya?


"saya tidak mahu awak hanya rebound pada saya. beri saya waktu untuk lupakan semua yg terjadi sebelum saya jumpa awak kali ini.."

aku faham. bukan mudah mahu lupakan hubungan dewasa selama 5 tahun, berbanding aku, cinta anak anak pada usia 14thn, itu pun 12 tahun lalu! namun ntah kenapa, aku masih istiharah, berharap: dialah fahri aku...

(waa.. perjalanan cerita ini dah umpama sebuah novel pada aku. aku berminat mahu jilidkan ia, mahukah org beli jika aku jadi ia menjadi sebuah jilid kelak? *tiba tibe blur*)

type: nancy ajram. aku suka benar dengan lagu2 penyanyi wanita arab ini sekarang. lagu dia ajar aku jadik romantis. antara yg aku suka dengar berulang ulang ialah "enta eih" dan "ehsas jdeed". bukan, aku bukan baru suka dia, dah agak lama, tapi kali nih baru layan, sebab adik umahku punya koleksi besar NA nih :)
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Definition: A rebound guy/girl is the person that you use to get over your last relationship. This usually happens when you are in fake closure mode. You jump head first into a new relationship, just so that it will ease the pain and loneliness of the relationship you just got out of.

The Rebound Theory has some limited success, however, this article isn't going to address that. Let's focus on dealing with a relationship if you are the Rebound Girl or Guy.

Chances are going into the relationship, you won't even know originally that your new date is on the rebound. If you never ask about previous relationships until you got to know the person better, this might set you up for being the Rebound Girl. If you believe that previous dating histories should be left in the past and never discussed...um, yeah, this might set you up for it too.

It sucks ass being the Rebound Girl, mainly because the relationship is not going to be given the full attention and affection that it deserves. He still has emotions invested in that other relationship, and is going to take things really slow with you. He might even be *gasp* emotionally unavailable and use you only to fill his physical and companionship needs. Also, you never really know if he is still in love with her, or if he is just idling time with you while he's trying to work things out with her. Like I said, being that Rebound Girl sucks bigtime.

The question is, do you think that he is worth it, that your relationship is worth it, to put up with all that hassle, stress and drama? Do you have the stoic fortitude to deal with seeing dates on his calendar denoting their one year anniversary, hearing about the virtues/bad traits of his ex, seeing her number on the caller ID, having her pop up in your conversations and having him ditch you if she ever called him? Do you want to always be second best?

If you are the Rebound Girl and you are considering hanging in there, read on...

Ok, I have to confess, I have been the Rebound Girl a couple of times. The first time, it worked out great-- I helped him get over her, realise that I was all that and a whole lot more!; and he eventually ended up falling head over heels in love with me. This would be the best scenario of course.

The second time was an absolute disaster. It was the anti-thesis of the first time around and has sworn me off ever being the Rebound Girl again. No matter how great I was, no matter how many wonderful things I did, no matter how fabulously wonderful I treated him--none of that mattered. He kept a shrine for her in his heart, and all she would do was call him, and he would totally forget that I existed. The power and the lure of the One That Got Away is so strong that it's virtually impossible to break. Finally, I just gave up trying and had to call it quits.

If you do plan to stick it out, I have one word for you. Patience. You have to patiently hope and pray that he will get over her, you have to patiently work and try in your relationship to be better than her, you have to patiently listen to him rant and rave about her, you have to patiently prove time and time again that you are the best thing since sliced bread.

Now I'm not saying that you should put up with him treating you like shit in the guise of being patient. Oh no! If he doesn't treat you like the goddess you deserve to be treated, if he abuses you mentally, emotionally or any other way, if you feel belittled or hurt on a constant basis then he is not worth the distance you can throw him. Get an Upgrade!

Either way, it is your choice to make. You just have to decide if he's worth it. Good luck.

crdt here



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5 comments:

Koez Arraihan said...

Hai...Alis....!
Assalamualaikum..

Berapakah panjang jalan yang telah engkau tempuh untuk mencari jodohmu? berapakah banyak tempat yang telah engkau kunjungi untuk mencari tahu adakah jodohmu tengah tersembunyi?
Nak dara......
Jodoh itu terhampar antara ruang dan waktu, diantara ruang dan waktu itu ada tirai yeng menutupi, dan dibalik tirai itu lah jodohmu. Bagimanakah engkau dapat menyingkap tirai itu? engkau harus ikhklas dengan apapun keadaan saat ini, jangan pernah engkau mencari tahu kecuali kepada Sang Rabb. Dia lah pemilik jodohmu itu, Dia lah yg tengah menyembunyikan di tirai mana jodohmu itu berada. Engkau jangan memaksakan Rabb untuk mengeluarkan jodohmu itu, jika engkau tak menyediakan hatimu yg ikhlas agar dapat menrima apapun keadaan yg ditimpakan Rabb kepadamu hari ini, jangan engkau berharap jika engkau tak menyediakan telaga kesabaran dalam jiwamu atas apa yg telah dikehendaki Rabb padamu saat ini.

Untuk sebuah ikhlas dan sabar, engkau butuh waktu untuk meraihnya, Rabb tahu kapan engkau membutuhkan jodohmu yg terbaik, kapan waktu terbaik jodohmu hadir dihadapanmu dengan seikat kembang mawar ditanggannya sembari tersenyum manis.

Hai Nak Dara....
janganlah engkau kecewa dgn apapun hari ini, lihatlah keindahan2 dan banyak wajah yang tersenyum di sekelilingmu, engkau akan tahu, betapa indahnya menantikan sesuatu dari Rabb, kerinduan ini seperti hamparan yang tanpa tepian, semuanya tanpa batas.

Nak Dara...bersabarlah !!!

Koez.
http//hamparanbirutanpabatas.blogspot.com

Ms.Lilies said...

aku tau ko kuat...
moga semuanya dipermudahkanNya..

||alis|| said...

salam pak koez arraihan..

terlalu banyak yg alis pendamkan dalam hati selama 12thn ini.. tidak mampu diungkap hanya dengan menulis dan menaip, semoga alis kuat, itu minta alis sejak akhir2 ini..


buat kak mimi kesayanganku...

alis tak sangka akan jadi begini. tidak bersedia dengan kenangan 5 tahun si dia. hmm.. tidak mengapa, aku punya penasihat yg bagus dan baik, FOC lagi :)

CAHAYA MATA said...

emmm..emmm..
ambil lah masa utk memikirkan yang terbaik utk diri awak.. timbal balik semua faktor yg ada utk bantu awak buat keputusan..

Allah menguji hamba-Nya dengan sebab yg wajar.. ye kan.. Teruslah tabah dan kuat.. insyaAllah.. SAYA doakan awak akan melaluinya dgn bahagia.. :)

||alis|| said...

cahayamata: terima kasih banyak atas doa awak tuh, amat hargai, sungguh, ini dari hati :)